How to Recover From a Lost Childhood?
Question by Ophelia: How to recover from a lost childhood?
Ever since I was 9, my life has been going downhill for me. I was adoptedd at 10 months because my mother was a dug addict and diabetic, schetzofrenic, and poor. My father was unknown. My parents told me when I was about 8 or 9. I began stealing from my family, having little run aways, and having sex with boys my age at nine years old. At 10, I was molested by my brothers friend who was 16, and my 22 year old couisen, what seems very close to every day for about a year. In the 7th grade, my friends in school outed me for being gay, without my consent. I was bullied all the time, harrased, chased after school, threats and rocks thrown at my house… untill the 9th grade, where I started fighting back, and eventually was kicked out of school. That’s when I really started getting bad.
I was kicked out of vocational school before I was kicked out of public school, because I was drinking and experimenting with drugs. I was kicked out of two more schools because I was being caught doing drugs. all in the 9th grade, kicked out of 4 schools for the same reason… in the 10th grade, I was sent to an intensive lockdown residential treatment facility for 130 adolescent boys. It was hard, feeling extreemly institutionalized. It was misery, for 2 and a half years. I’ve tried killing myself as ways to cry for help, I’ve ran away to NYC for days… I began having dangerous sex with uncountable men in residential. About 40 in 2 years. I becam addicted to pleasing men through sex, but hated myself after it.
After barely completing the program, I was sent to a grouphome, because its not safe for me to go home. Now, 18 and senior in hs, I find myself depressed as I ponder through the lost years… looking at old classmated from middleschool, going to prom, laughing with family and friends… and I don’t have that oppertunity. Senior photos, even a graduation ceremony is not available for me. What do I do? It hurts so bad inside.
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