How to Give Up Parental Rights to an Adopted Child?

Question by ”Camera~Ready”: How to give up parental rights to an adopted child?
Here’s the thing, my parents adopted my little brother about 8yrs ago, he was placed with us as a kid because my mom was a foster parent. He is now 17 1/2 yrs old. He was aloud by the courts to see his biological mom while growing up (when she wasn’t in jail or rehab) but at one point the courts got tired of his mother going in & out of jail & rehab so they permanently took her parental rights. So the court was going to put him in a group home but he was so much a part of our family that my parents decided to adopt him.

About a year & a half ago he found his biological mom online, contacted her & left to live with her. His social worker told my mom it was best to let him go if he wanted to because she couldn’t stop him & he would probably just run away. A year later the courts file charges against my parents for abandonment. My little brother finally told the truth about what happened & charges were dropped. Well surprise to us when we brought him home 7 months ago he came back with a meth problem, he started using with his biological mom. But now my parents are stuck, he leaves for days at a time comes back all strung out, Tries to break into the house when were not home, threatens the little kids. He has committed felony, after felony, after felony but the police refuse to make reports, they say it’s a waste of time because he’s almost 18. The courts tell my parents they can’t give up rights because they adopted him. Also, that he would have to live with us until everything goes through anyway & that would take several months & he’ll be 18 by then so it’s not an option.

We love him but we fear for our lives, it’s like my little brother has no conscience. When he came back an addict I use to stay up all night watching him, fearing he would light the house on fire while we slept. We never leave my mom alone because we’re afraid he’ll kill her. It’s like the courts are playing “You touch him last”. He’s been in Juvenal Hall this passed week for drug possession, but since no else ever made a report or pressed charges for everything else he’s done, my parents are now forced to bring him home this Friday. This drug addict, to a house full of little kids. We tried to help him several times but he refuse treatment. Ugh!! We don’t know what to do?

Sorry I know this is long but, can anyone tell us our options. How do can we get some help? How can my parents give up their rights when the courts refuse to do so? By the way we live In San Bernardino County California, if it makes a difference. Thanx everyone!
The courts are aware of everything he’s done in the passed but because no one has done anything (like the police or victims) they see it as a waste of time. He was in a treatment hospital but escaped & of course nothing was done. Thanx for your advise.
Davis S: I’m not looking for criticism, I looking for help, before my brother hurts himself or someone else. And by the way you don’t know the whole story, my parents (besides my little brother) have raised 7 other kids & we’re not all biological. They are good loving people & are not trying to abandon their responsibility just because my brother is adopted, They would be trying to do the same thing if it were one of their other kids. He needs help but they have tried everything, they don’t know how to take care of a violent drug addict & feel that if he’s a ward of the state they can force him to get help since he ran away from the last 2 places he was in. I guess the day you live with a violent drug addict who lies, steals & threatens your 54 yr. old mother, little nieces & nephews with bodily harm you’ll understand. But he knows we love him, we tell him all the time. My parents love him enough to let him go to get treatment since he fights them tooth & nail.

Best answer:

Answer by …
Talk to the courts, they don’t want him because he is going to be 18 so soon, tell them of the child endangerment, that or ship him back to his mother. OR you can enroll him in a drug rehab program. He doesn’t have to consent, he is under 18.

Answer by David S
I know this is very difficult for your family, but the first thing you must all do is give up the notion that due to his being adopted, you are all somehow less responsible for him. I get the distinct impression that your family is bitter and feeling put upon by this adopted son, and that you just want him to go away. If I detect it, I’m pretty sure he can too.

If you are certain that he was led to abuse meth by his biological mother, your parents should push the D.A. in that county to pursue criminal charges against her. I find it illogical and hard to believe that he has committed many different felonies but the police refuse to charge him. If that is so, your parents should see the D.A. in your county of residence about pursuing charges against him.

Your parents can’t surrender their parental rights or responsibilities to this boy. When they adopted him, they accepted him and all his problems. It’s not too late for him to turn his life around. He is a minor, and as such, he can be forced to do many things, including rehab, so it is not reasonable to simply use the excuse that he refuses treatment. While his biological mom is culpable for his addiction, your parents have also dropped the ball. They can either tolerate his antics until he turns 18, when they can show him the door permanently, or behave like parents who care, which they do not seem inclined to be.

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