Help With Grief Over Pets, Please?
Question by goldielocks123: Help with grief over pets, please?
In the past six months, I my dog died, my two year old cat was run over and this past weekend while I was out of town and my house/pet sitter was here and was supposed to take care of my cats, my other cat disappeared. This has nothing to do with pets, but I also sent my son to rehab for a year in March. I am having a hard time functioning with everyday tasks. Any advice? No meanies, please. I know this grief is temporary but I am miserable. Thanks,
Best answer:
Answer by Gina C
Wow, you have had a hard time of it lately. Am very sorry for you. I know it may be difficult to even consider right now but maybe you should think about getting another pet to fill the void. I honestly don’t know what I would do without my critters. They fulfill my life in so many ways. Having another to love may help you to move on. It won’t replace the ones you lost but can give you the comfort you obviously need. I wish you all the best.
Answer by venom
i have been though something even worse my 5 year old cat was killed right in front of my house by some stray dogs. and i witnessed part of it. i was to late and could not save her. i cried for a few weeks and i was hard to get over but i spent time with my other cats (her son) you should try to do the same pets really help you get through life. i bet you must have great memories and be thankful they were part of it. i hope you feel better.
Ky’Renah entertaining
I am so sorry you are experiencing this. Please keep your cats in the house or in a cattery. They easily meet their demise out there and they kill birds. And this does have to do with LOVE. Creatures you love are dying. Or are in rehab.
Their are Grief Support Groups in many cities. Call your local Hospice and see if they can direct you.
Please see the movie/dvd When Dreams May Come with
Robin Williams. His dog went to heaven. So do your animals.
dig it up and give him a bath and a bone….
perhaps you can get it stuffed..taxidermis style..
WOw. You’re sure going through a lot at once here. Try to replace these negative thoughts with more positive images in your mind. Picture your cat showing up at the door when you take the trash out one day. Picture your son getting out of rehab and walking the right path. Imagine good things happening around you. Remember the last time you laughed, really laughed out loud- even if it was years ago and close your eyes and think about how it felt so you can feel that good again. Then replace all the negatives with positive images.
Have you seen The Secret? I borrowed it from the library because it’s like $ 30 to buy it but it would be worth it I think. Get a copy to watch, watch it a few times. It’s helped me remember things i used to use when i was much younger.
Hang in there- things will get better. When my cat died the only comforting thought one of my friends gave me was that would i rather have loved that cat, with all the pain was feeling after losing her, than never to have known her or had her in my life at all? of course, the answer was that i was grateful to have known her all those years. I also knew the pain would fade over time and i could keep the good memories and let go of the painful ones.
Pray too. Ask God and Jesus to help you and to comfort you. Put things in His hands, give Him back control of your life.
think of all the happiness your pets gave you. i know they were well cared for and you loved them very much. they knew it too. remember, they are in a place where the weather is always warm and sunny. the creeks are filled with cool water and the treats are bountiful. all animals get along and run free romping in a never ending grassy field. i hope your son responds to rehab. children come to a fork in the road were they make their own choices. the only thing we parents can do is teach them right from wrong and hope they choose the good roads of life. the final decision is theirs.
First off the phrase”time heals all does apply here” I agree the loss of a pet,any pet ,is like losing a precious family member. I had a cat I had to send to heaven in October. She was 17 years old and had lung cancer. The hardest decision I had to make so far in my life. How can I take the life of something I have loved and nurtured for 17 years it was heartwrenching.And I will never ever get over it.Its much easier now but at the time I thought I would cry forever. If that was any taste of what depression is all about I dont think I could take feeling that way for too long. As for your son, you need to contact and set up a support system and Alanon is where to begin. There is a toll free number in the front or your phone book.They are wonderful people .And you will feel comfortable talking with them because you all have a common bond.
I know how you feel… both of my cats died last year… and my dad died the day after my 20 year old cat….I started running…it got me out of the house and since I was thinking so much about breathing …. I didn’t think about anything else. I also held a ‘wake’ for my kitties.. all my friends that knew them came over.. I had photos up of both boys… and we told stories about them… the time Fin destroyed a freinds couch… bit another one… that kind of stuff… toasted them.. told God to take care of them until I came and could take care of them again. After that I adopted two new kittens….:-)
Hi,
Firstly I would like to say I am very sorry to hear of the loss of your pet. I am not downplaying how your cats died by any means but they did not suffer, and if that one did it was brief. They become our babies. Sometimes literally in the case of my 17 year old poodle mix. I had to make the hardest choice in my lfe 4 years ago when I was 34. He was 17 so I had him exactly half of my lifetime. I was married at 16. I lost my first child, a son who lived an hour and a half. I came home from the hospital empty handed and to visit my Dad and his dog “Chrissy” had rejected all of her pups in 1986. There was just 1 left. A boy. I took him home with me and bottle fed him around the clock every 4 hours, just as I would have for my son had he lived. The dog made it and we named him Puffy. Though he didnt replace the human life that I had lost, it sure helped fill the void and help me get through it by diverting my attention. I was there when he was born right before I went in pre-term labor and was there in the vets office holding his little paw when I had him out to sleep. I had just had a baby and when I was pregnant I was told that he had congestive heart failure and would only live maybe 6 more months. With the help of Lasix he lived 3 and a half more years. Then all of a sudden after that 3 years passed he quit eating and took a sudden turn for the worse and quit eating and drinking. They put him on Digoxin as a very last resort. They told me it save him or kill him it was a 50/50 chance either way. He took his first dose the day it was prescribed. Then the next dose in the morning. About 4 pm that afternoon my then 14 year old daughter was screaming Puffy is having a seizure. I ran to him, toungue hanging out and held him as I called the vet, the seizeures became more frequent and they said he would probably go anytime and to call back in an hour if he hadnt. I held him crying and praying and for God to take him from me so I didnt have to have him put down. My prayer was not answered. I had to make the hardest decision. I headed to the vet with him wrapped in a blanket. His veins were collapsed from not drinking and they had to give him abother shot in his other leg, enough for a dog 4 times his size before it was all over. I was still holding his little paw. I cried daily for weeks, just as I am now. I had him cremated so that he could always be with me. That in itself turned out to be another night mare that I wont even get into before this becomes longer than it already is, Lets just say that after 8 long days of being lied to, I had to go pick up his body and have him sent off myself and got him back the next day. Thre is a reaon for everything. I agree and disagree with 2 things in this thread. The first one took me a long time to get over. The bible states that animals are soul-less. They do not go to heaven. Thats the hardest part, but I agree with the other. I always said that if he passes a I would get a full blooded Chihuahua (not a mix like he was) and name her Chrissy after his other which I did and she looks exactly like his mother. And now I shower her with love and attention. And though she never could ever replace him, she is an awesome faithful dog just as he was. But I wouldnt have traded my last days with him for a million dollars. I will pray for peace to come over you and that yet again, you will find another cat to fill the void. It wil never be the same. And I still think of My Puffy Boy daily. But It really does help eventually. The key for sure is time. I hope I have helped you in some way. Carol