Cocaine Addiction?
Question by Jessica: cocaine addiction?
I am starting to put two and two together. My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years. He has used cocaine recreationally for several years before we met but it was only once every three or four months. We moved a year ago and about 6 months ago he was able to get cocaine much easier and has now started using it every weekend. Ever since that time his attitude has changed and his anger has gotten out of hand as you can probably tell by my previous posts. The therapist has told me that she believes that he has Intermittent Explosive Disorder, after reading more about this disorder it has mentioned that cocaine can cause these angry outbursts. I moved out of our house a week ago and have been staying with my sister since due to his anger. I love him and don’t want to give up on him if he has a problem and I know I can’t help him but I feel like I should do more to support him, what do I do?
Best answer:
Answer by rose1077
First – pat yourself on the back for leaving an abusive situation … so many of us never leave.
Second – you have truly done all you can. Its up to him now. He needs to admit he has a problem and start getting help. If he makes an honest effort at help, you can be part of his support system if you feel able by being a friend and talking with him when he needs it (NOT BY GOING BACK!). However, the key here is he has to help himself.
I’m sorry for what you’re going through – its never easy to watch someone you love going through this. I hope he gets the help he needs. Good luck!
Answer by ML
If he won’t go into rehab and get off the cocaine u need to get out of the relationship and stay away from him. He could seriously hurt you or kill u. I have been in your position. The man broke my finger and messed up my nose. I was getting beaten every day. He broke the window of my car and slashed my tire. He sprained my ankle by twisting the hell out of it trying to break it. Cocaine addicts are dangerous. He played me saying he was getting help. In fact, he never was getting help and still is doing drugs. He still tries to stalk me. U need to think about your safety. Sometimes love is not enough. Not everyone can kick this addiction. I will be praying for u.
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There’s not a lot you can do. If he won’t admit that he’s a coke addict and doesn’t want to get help, he’ll keep on doing coke until he gets arrested or dies. The worst part is if you say anything to him he’s bound to turn on you and say you have become his enemy (cocaine makes people paranoid, you know). He has to acknowledge the fact that he has a problem and he has to WANT to get off the coke. Sounds to me like he’s very happy with his nose candy. I’d advise you to think long and hard about how you fit into the picture. He’s choosing coke over you. Not good. Do you really want to be around to mop up the mess if he loses everything because of his addiction? You should take the hard-line attitude and make him choose. Tell him point-blank that you refuse to live with anyone who uses illegal drugs. Don’t be surprised if he chooses the illegal drugs, and don’t feel responsible if he does. He may not see the light without getting a serious wake-up call like getting arrested, having a near-death experience, losing his job, you get the idea. I know you love him, but can you afford to live with him like this? He’ll drag you down too. Don’t stand for it. Lay it on the line for him and let him make his choice.
Wait until he’s ready for your support. He isn’t going to do anything until he decides that he really needs to. Let him know that you love him, and when he decides he wants to change, you’ll be there to support him, but until then you need to stay away for your own safety and well-being. If you are in the USA, here is a 24-hr information and referral service regarding cocaine addiction 1-800-COCAINE
Good luck and be safe.
I had a boyfriend with the same problem…brought on by cocaine addiction as well. While you may not be able to have him committed (drug rehab usually has to be voluntary unless court-ordered), you should suggest to him that he get treatment. Let him know that you will not stay with someone who has a cocaine addiction. If he truly loves you, he will seek help. He needs inpatient rehab…my ex tried outpatient therapy about 3 times and failed until he finally entered inpatient rehab. You also have to be willing to stand by your word…he cannot kick this habit on his own and, if you go back to him on his “promise” that he will quit, you will only be enabling him to continue his habit. Get a therapist for yourself, to address your own possible co-dependency issues. I’m not saying that you’re doing anything wrong but you have to address why you were with him in the first place, knowing that he had a drug habit, recreational or not. You’re going to need the support of your family and friends to help you through this…and to help him through this.