Best Friend Is Taken Away From You – What Do You Do?

Question by HyperCrush: best friend is taken away from you – what do you do?
I used to use ecstasy quite frequently. When I was at a rave – I met someone named bob (fictional name) bob and i hung out the rest of the rave, he eventually went home with me, we played ps3 and hit it off. seriously the coolest guy Ive ever met. every day during that summer (last summer) we hung out, rolling on weekends. anyone who has done ecstasy will know that you become extremely close to the people you roll with. further on – his parents found out that he used ecstasy, and blamed me for it. they put him in rehab, and let me see him, but only in small doses. I then moved back to kentucky for 5 months, not able to see him. i just moved back to florida, and his parents wouldnt let him see me at all. so he would tell his parents he was going over to his girlfriends, then we would pick him and his girlfriend up. one Friday, we decide to all roll. (we havent done it since i left for kentucky) his iphone messes up on him and freezes, so he doesn’t hear his parents calling him. when he finally calls them back, they ask where he is. he says – I’m at my girlfriends. they reply with – well walk outside. he knows he is caught, and says – im at hypercrush’s house. they start yelling and threatening to call the cops, then they pick him up. they don’t call the cops, however – they are threatening to put a restraining order on me and my friend who picked bob up. after this happened bob and i both quit ecstasy. bob can no longer hang out with me until he turns 18, he is 17 now, and i just turned 20. we are amazing friends, and anyone who knows us knows we act exactly the same. his parents just called my friend who drove us around and told him he has a court date on Monday. we found out they cant put a restraining order on us because we aren’t a threat, but they say its going to be for an agreement. what does this agreement entail? and what would you do about this?
For Dee Dee – you see, that is the thing. its not like bob just does drugs all day. if anything, thats the least active part of our lives. we are out making friends, i help him with homework, he has a girlfriend, he is in extra curricular activities, i don’t want you to get the idea that hes a high school druggie drop out. this kid is getting straight As. :/ and as far as telling his parents – they wont even talk to me, they will call the cops if i get near, and they wouldn’t care if i quit or started back up. idk, i thank you for your advice though.

Best answer:

Answer by Dee Dee A
Hi there, well what I would think of first is that you are over age, making you an adult, and Bob is underage, which makes him a child, as far as the law goes. Until he reaches 18 that is the way it is.

Honey, please, don’t you understand the pain Bob’s parents are going through. It is a parent’s worst nightmare to think their child is doing drugs. Not only is it illegal, it is harmful. Here this boy is only 17 and he already has a record of being in treatment. That is sad. He should be worrying about school, dating, a part time job, making friends and hanging out. Instead he is doing drugs, telling his parents lies, going into rehab, come on. Can’t you see it from the parent’s point of view? And then you wonder why they don’t want him to “roll” with you.

Now, I am not saying that it is all your fault, he does have his own mind, but you are the one that is the adult here, so that makes it worse on your part. Having said all of that, I do have to say, you doing drugs does not make you an awful person. Lots of good people do drugs. It is not the person honey that is bad, it is the drug. Now, I know that you said you have stopped them, and I hope that you really have and I hope that you will be able to stay off of them. Trust me, you can. It is the matter of really wanting to. That my friend has all got to be up to you. And only you.

As far as your friend, maybe the best thing to do is go to Bob’s parents and tell them everything you have told us on here. Tell them you have stopped and that you are sorry for what part you had in their son’s using. Ask them to let you prove to them that you are serious. Maybe start being around them a little more, so they can believe you and see what kind of person you are. Show them your heart. Talk to Bob about how you are clean and want to really stay that way. You can do this honey, I promise you that. I will pray for you and I will be thinking of you. Stay strong, my friend. Aunt DeeDee.

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